Thank you VERY VERY MUCH for helping me with this problem. I had no idea what was going on.
I did figure it out. Turns out it was the settings for the extruders. I setup 3 extruders with ext0 having 0 offset, ext1 having 34mm offset, and ext2 having 68mm offset. Yup. Where I thought the offsets would be taken from ext0, they were taken from ext2 instead. To me this is entirely counterintuitive given that it would be easier to design and set offsets from the first (ext0) extruder and not the last, later added extruders.
Nonetheless, reversing the offsets so that ext2 has 0 offset, ext1 has 34mm offset, and ext0 has 68mm offset fixed the problem.
Huh...